Camp taught me how to lead. It was training for adulthood. You never realize how much you learn until you walk away from the place you spent your entire adolsence being a part of. I'm not at all the person I was 10 years ago. But, the recent bon-fire brought back memories of camp....and then I started thinking about leaders. The leaders we are. The leaders we follow. The leaders who don't even realize they are one.
Emotional leadership has always seemed to have fallen easily with me. Maybe it's because I'm so tall? Maybe it's confidence? Maybe it's my big ass?
I know, I could convince my Gran to do anything with enough talking. Especially eating. I could get the woman to eat ...with enough talk about what I was eating...ha..
Sometimes, I have no idea why people actually listen or read what I have to say. Ever being influentual has never felt comfortable to me.
My ex-boss used to say that I was one who sought too much verification. Which, I guess, is why I rarely ask for help now. Unless I know it's from someone who can tell me the truth without bullshitting me around.
I would rather look at the situation as a whole and put my own emotions aside. I do this often. Especially when I'm not involved in the problem. But, when it comes to someone yelling at me about a problem that is NOT mine - this is where my emotions get involved.
Maybe my emotional disconnection from situations helps with the leadership some. I would much rather be a part of a group of like-minded individuals than have to take over a situation in an uncontrolled enviroment before we all get arrested.
...the latter seems to happen a lot with me, oddly.
Wikipedia (ya know, the bible for us 'net geeks), describes a leader as:
* bolstering confidence in one's own decision-making abilities
* seeking independent verification through appropriate measurement and reporting infrastructures
So does number 3 mean you are a tattle-tale? Because that isn't me.
But I do have a questioning attitude. I question everything in my head. A bit too much.
And this is not saying I'd be a good supervisior over a team of people at work. No, I think I'd suck at that. I'm not aggressive enough. But, I can take a team of people - work on a project and get that project done. I can do that.
When I am at a party, and I realize the room has stopped talking and is paying attention to what I am saying - I feel very exposed. It's an odd feeling.
Sometimes, I wish I was a background person. That'd probably be a lot less dramatic life.
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