Mental torture.

I'm an 'observer'.

I would rather people watch outside of wal-mart than actually go in and fight the crowd.

When I'm dating a new guy, I like to watch his interaction with the people around him. Hear his opinions on different topics. This is, ultimatly, the deciding factors on if I like him or not. Chemistry, I guess.

I'm not a fan of people who are always negative. Yea, we can all have days where it feels like the world has crapped on us. And yes, I have been known to do my fair share (and beyond) of whining. People who are constantly bitter, finding the bad, and generally bring the crowd down are not really my type of people.

I had an ex who was like this. We butted heads a number of time about the fact that I had too much optimism, he had too much pessimism. While I know the world is imperfect, searching out the cause and fixing the problem usually helps. He would have rather whined about how awful his life is.

...of course, this is why he's now an ex.

I don't want someone who constantly brings me down.

I have a friend who is in a relationship like this. Her boyfriend isn't the best to her. In fact, it is more of an emotional abusive in terms of weighing the moments she feels happy against the moments she feels bad/mad.

When it first started, she'd ask me "what should I do?" my answer was a blunt "Leave." but, she wouldn't. She won't.

I still listen to her vent about him and his lack of respect for her. She always adds in, "I'm leaving, I don't care...", but she never does. She never asks for my opinion anymore. She knows what I'm going to say.

There comes a point where the person has to make up their mind for themselves. What was that old saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink"? No matter how much you share your opinion, and no matter how much someone knows what the right decision is - it is ultimatly up to them.

I know I'd rather be by myself than be with someone who treates me badly. I think a relationship should be friendship above all else. But, people are selfish. It's our nature.

People who use money, children, housing, or our emotional/physical nature to make us stay - are the worst kind of people to be in a relationship with. That's not anything but a form of mental torture.

...and I hate observing friend who I know deserve better not having the strenght to do something about it.