19th Nervous Breakdown.

I was actually okay yesterday. When it comes to emotional traumatizing stuff, I'm good at numbing up. Which is a good & a bad. Good because I can be strong for those who need it, but bad because I don't feel what I need to WHEN I need to.

It's hard to believe my Gran has been gone a year. Man, I miss that woman. She would have laughed at me giving my happy meal fries to Uncle Gene as I fought internally to get my food to stay in place. Then, when I could eat my hamburger patty again - he began to eat the fries since I couldn't. That was cute.

It was nice, but I missed Kevin. I dunno. Kevin, man, you & me. There is something in the support you give me. Seriously. Love. Just love.

I sat in the car while my uncle, aunt & mom had their moments at Granny & Grandpa's grave. I blasted "How to save a life" by The Fray. It's a song about being as supportive as you possibly can. It made me feel a little better.

When I got home, I was tired. Very tired. I found myself staring at my tv without comprehending anything that was on.

Then, at 1 am, I had my breakdown. Poor George, I think I flipped him out. But he did good...at least he didn't lead on that it freaked him. I kept apologizing...he kept telling me I was alright. He can be a good egg.

Today I had a followup at the doctor. I gained a pound. I'm not worried about a stupid pound. Whatever.

And it was stressful at work. But, I dealt.

Sigh. Now I am getting boring, and rambling. Okay, someone say something...