Conversations with Matt’s band (rated R).

12. Me: "Matt, don't call it 'pussy."
Eric : "Cunt?"
Me: "No.."
Ryan: "I call it coochie. It's just cuter."

11. Me: "Matthew!"
David: "Dude, she just called you Matthew."
Matt: "Means I'm in trouble."

10.David "Nah man."
Me: "'nah, man' you mean you would turn down head?"

Matt: "That's what I was thinking, I have never turned down head."
Me: "I have never known a guy to turn down head."

09.David: "C'mon, come to practice with your family dollar hair style."

Me: "What?"
David: "I dunno, we just passed family dollar."

08.Me: "Isn't this cool?"

Eric: "I guess."
Me: "Fake it!"
Eric: "Yes! That is so awesome!"

07.David: "I need to put my ballsack in your mouth."

Matt: "Whatever, man."
David: "I've had a chick do it before."
Me: "That's not cool, that's stupid."
Matt: "Yeah, was she not able to find your dick?"

06.David: "Tamela, does this music scare you?"

Me: "No."
Matt: "Not a lot of stuff scares Tamela. She might look all 'proper',
but she's cool as shit."

05.Matt: "Yeah I need one small hamburger and....five sweet teas."
Mcdonald's guy: "FIVE?"
Matt: "Yeah."
David: "Sweet tea is metal!"

04.David: "I have family members in the mafia. They live in Jersey!"
Me: "Really? Is one of them named "Tony"?"
David: "No." *beat* "Steven."

03.Matt: "I'm going to chop your head off, shit in it and stuff it up ass; then I'll hang you from a tree."

David: "You can't hang me if I don't have a head."

02.Me to Ryan: "Aw that's sweet, you got a note with that? Sweet. Corny, but sweet."

01.Me: "So, when you are kissing a girl and you get turned on...is it the girl you are kissing or the fact that you may have sex with the girl you are kissing?"

Matt: "Sex. Always sex."
Ryan: "Yeah.."
Eric: "Yeah, but some girls can turn you on faster."