goals.

Okay, after taking turns from throwing up and laying on my bed staring at my ceiling I have come up with the following goals:

- I will not let the way other people view me bother me anymore. You think I'm a bitch, fine. You think I'm a whore, fine. You think I'm a lost cause, fine. None of these are true. But you want to believe them, do it!

- I will NOT let stress from my job interfere with my life. I hold things internally and rarely show it on the outside. Obviously, from the way my stomach has reacted today, I cannot do this anymore.

- I will not let the fact that someone doesn't want to be my friend or boyfriend affect me anymore. It's really their loss.

- I will not use someone else to feel better. I'd rather just fuck myself than fuck someone else and not feel anything.

- I pay what I can. If something needs to be paid, it'll just have to wait til I can. Nothing, not even food, is as important as the toll the stress is taking on my body.

- I will walk away from 23 and what we might've had.

- I will focus on what I need to do to make myself feel better. If that is leaving the internet, fine. If it is finding a new job, fine. If it is finding a new place to live, fine.

- I will sit here, watch Ninja Warrior and laugh at the commentator, as long as I possibly can.

Writing them out is the easy part. Keeping them is the hard part. Especially the 23 part. He's like a sweet madness.