Life in slow motion.

I am having a shitty day.

Well, first off, lemme clarify that I am having mood swings from hell. Due to lack of funds and a mix-up at the pharmacy, I have been out of my anti-depressant for 4 days.

....and I'm starting to feel it.

Today, shitty day, I ate so much food that I knew would go down because of stress. This is the first time I have mood ate (a word, yep) in over a year (besides chocolate once a month) .

Everything is getting to me a lot more than usual.

Not saying the drug numbs me to complete 'stare' state. But, it balances things out in my head. Lord knows, I need all the balance I can get. I think a few of my friends think I am insane *coughChriscough*.

Monday night, I cried over "How I met your mother". Today I cried because I found that with my lap-band where it is - I cannot handle Taco Bell anymore.

Yeah, I cried over a fucking comment by Barney & a burrito.

Today, I got ragingly upset over a snarky comment from someone who is a fake bitch.

Why did I let it affect me like it did? I don't know. Maybe because in elementary school I was picked on and even as an adult, people still find ways to say things to me that make me feel not good enough.

People who try to intimidate you to only make themselves feel better will never achieve any type of honor or respect with me.

Oh, and I can see you. You think you have me fooled? Yeah, think again.

Or I could be wrong about everything. I could be the stupid one.

I honestly have no idea what I am doing, what my purpose is, and what the fuck I ever did to deserve the friends I have. I'm like the shittiest friend on earth.

I need to escape. I'm tired of this place. I want to get fucking plastered and make out with a cool guy.

....but right now, I think I need to just stop eating and knock myself out.