My adventure with John Herbert Jr.

So, yesterday, Johnny, Amber, My mom & I had planned to go to Fall Creek Falls. We wanted to get away and also take pictures of the fall colors.

Well, our plan didn't go exactly how we wanted, since it took four hours to get Amber hair done(!)

We decided just to go to Sparta, take some pics from Sunset Rock (an overlook we are fond of) and then come back considering Terran Humus was having their first performance at 8:00pm at The Muse.

Alright, so, I was sick all morning from my sinuses. Nothing like not being able to eat or drink because you find yourself vomiting. Blah. On the way to Sparta, I was able to hold down cranberry juice and a beef stick. Yeah, what a meal. But my back was achy from the lunging. ANYWAY...

We get to Highland cemetery. We all knew we wanted to get here, our great aunt finally got a headstone after 50 years of no recognization she was there. We are snapping shots left & right. Amber had never been here, so she is roaming and I see that the section across from my family's hasn't been touched with any feet or racking of leaves. It is gorgeous (as you can probably tell by the pics). The conversation goes as follows:

Me: "Mom, can you hold my camera? I wanna go jump in the leaves."
Mom: "Sure."
Johnny: "It might be wet under them, it has rained recently.."
Mom: "That's true...hmm.."
Johnny: "Maybe you can find a nice headstone to sit on to take some pictures."
Me: "I have clothes for The Muse that I can change into if I get dirty, but yea...hmm..yeah, how about that one?"

This is a small stone that says "John Herbert Jr." beside it is a tall one that says "AUSTIN". I walk over, squat, holding on to the AUSTIN stone for leverage, but my hand slips...and, yeah...I missed. I start laughing...half my ass on John's stone - half my ass on the ground...and my fingers and arm scraped.

They ask me if I'm okay, I say yes - but still laugh, until I actually look at my arm. It's bleeding.

They doctor me with baby-wipes (and later water). By that time, I have finally pulled myself up on the stone. After everything calms down, I just roll off the stone and finally get in my leaves.

Poor John Herbert Jr. Hope he didn't mind. There is now DNA evidence on his stone.

I said later, "Wow, from my vomiting, back ache and clumsy ass - I should have just stayed in bed today."

Keep your pants on, girl.

So, today I am wearing my extra-big Winnie The Pooh sweatshirt. I bought it back in '96 with my camp check. And my grey pj pants - that have no elastic.

It's been a lazy weekend of cleaning & straightening. I had bags of trash to take to the dumpster. And, the more they sat in the kitchen, the more my mom was filling them up and adding more to the pile. I decided, after a small nap, that I needed to get to them before I had to make about 7 trips.

I start with two bags, carrying them over, I pass by a man speaking spanish on his cell. I'm assuming he's talking about his truck, he's waving his hands wildly. I catch his attention as I near, but look ahead to the dumpster.

I come back, two more bags. These are heavier than the last.

As I near the dumpster, I feel my pants slip a little off my hips, but figure they'll hold. As I toss bag one into the pile - yep, I flash all the kids at the playground along with the man on the cell who....stares then starts talking rapidly. I'm sure saying "I just saw this chicks panties!"

Luckily, they didn't fall to my knees. Just enough to make me extremely uncomfortable. And dude got a sneak peek of my goodies.

I think it's time to retire this outfit. Especially the pants. Once they fall down in public, they kinda loose their appeal

Incident at Heather’s party.

About two weeks ago, there was an announcement that Heather was leaving for another department. Earlier this week, we conspired a food day in her honor to be held today, her last day.

Steph's new cubicle is right outside the office that we use for the food room. She came over and asked me to help hang her pictures, the smell from the room was tempting - sweet, spicy, cheesy, all the good smells that come from a picnic. I made a mental note to never sit there.

It took a little work, but she & I lined up her photo board and got it looking nice.

Around this time, everyone started to gather in front of Steph's cube for Heather's goodbye. We remained where we were, in the background directly behind where Heather had stopped.

Supervisors said a few words. Everyone was seriously listening and solemn. Steph sat down on her desk, I leaned against it - right beside her. "How long have you been here?" Tina asked. Heather responded "16 years. Under Willie for 10!" Willie said "Wow...we have watched you grow from a little girl to a woman..you were fresh out of high school - now you're married and have a kid...ya know for a lon..."

And right then. In the middle of Willie's speech...there was a loud pop, a yelp and suddenly there was a Tamela on the floor.

Steph's desk had given way. She was able to catch her feet because she was sitting. I on the other hand, had been leaning - I had no footing. No other option. I was on the ground.

1. I don't fall gracefully. I never have. It's usually a spread-eagle flop.
2. No woman ever falls gracefully in a skirt anyway. Especially if said skirt FLIES up while falling.

Everyone was watching with a bit of amused concern.

I wasn't looking up at anyone but Steph - and she & I were laughing so hard, tears were streaming. I said "I am laughing too hard to move." Willie says "You alright, Tamale?" I said "Yeah..just embarrassed."

They clapped for me when I stood up, trying to compose myself.

Willie went back on track talking & laughing with Heather, while I stood in the background straightening out my skirt and wondering just exactly how red my face was. Steph & I couldn't look at each other for giggling.

The meeting broke up, everyone went to get food and back to talking about the part of desk that came apart - which was now at my feet.

Apparently, Ben had helped Steph with some stuff yesterday, he had said about the desk, "this isn't really stable - but it should be fine." Yeeea...

I apologized to Heather for interrupting. She said "That's okay, at least I can never say it was boring!"

Julie came to me later and joked "Were you not getting enough attention? 'everyone's paying attention to heather - someone look at ME!'" I said "Oh yes, you know me, I'll fall and bust my ass to get anyone to see me."

Willie made me file an accident report, just to cover any butts - although I'm not hurt in the slightest. It said 'What could you do to prevent this incident from occurring again?' I answered 'No leaning on desk during goodbye parties.'